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2024

 Salam Alayk,  Feels like it’s been a long time since I did not write or post anything in my blog last year. This year, I will be actively posting and updating my life here, all the progress, or my monolog, anything that I want to keep or share, I will try to post it here. It might not be for everyone to read it, but for those who read my blog, thank you! I hope you gais will always being blessed.  Just for your information, I was writing this post while I am crying at 3.06am on 7th of January. I feel hurts, but I don’t know how to describe. What makes me more sad is, to think that it just a beginning of my new year, but why all this happened. To be honest, by the time I have tried to stop on asking why all this and that keep happening to me, is it hard to just respect my feelings and show me some concern. It hurts, but even the words can’t describe why and it’s harder to explain and even harder to ask someone who we trust to understand us. Sometimes, it’s better to keep it by ourself.
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semakin pulih.

Kenapa begitu banyak aku ungkit tentang masa lalu. Meski aku lebih menghargai masa kini? Mungkin yang aku hargai adalah orang yang hadir dan masih ada ada pada hari ini, Tetapi tidak diri sendiri, Kerana diri aku hari ini tidak ada banyak hal yang aku mampu banggakan. Cuma satu hal yang aku tahu, dan selalu bersyukur. Aku semakin pulih, dari luka yang aku cipta sendiri.
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DEMAM DENGGI.

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  Hi Assalamualaikum, Yes I just being able to write and share this story with you, regarding denggue. MashAllah, this is my first time been diagnosed as a denggue patient. Almost a week been warded at HKL. I still remember, that Friday Adele brought me and Ain to clinic, since my fever getting worse. I can’t even sleep, have a heavy headache, backpain, can’t eat, I lost my appetite. Ain also have fever but not that bad as mine. Menanngis teresak esak dekat klinik. *laughing. At first we did PCR to make sure that we are negative covid. Alhamdulillah our results is negative. My medical card dahlah lapsed. To sign up the new one, is not easy if you’ve been test as positive covid. *make sure if you still not being covered by medical card, sign up ASAP or can just contact me to get your quotation.  Okay back to my story, since the doctor worried cause maybe he look my condition is worse. So he write a refer letter to HKL, and ask me immediately go to hospital which means do not wait until
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Location: Jalan Pahang, 50586 Kuala Lumpur, Wilayah Persekutuan Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
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Menemukan cara.

Hari ini, Kau buat aku menangis kagi. Hebat, Selalu saja engkau menemukan cara untuk mematahkan hati ini, Melakukan hal hal yang engkau tahu aku tidak suka. Aku tak mahu mengulangi hal hal sama, Membuat aku terlihat satu satunya orang yang mengongkong kebebasan kau, Orang lain menangis? Kerana kau yang tak terbebas?  Kalau dari awal aku tahu kau tak mahu begini, Sudah terlebih dahulu aku melepaskan, Tak perlu ada rasa yang berlebihan untuk kau,  Dah,  Aku penat cakap hal sama, Sebab pada akhirnya, Kau tetap saja menemukan cara untuk meremuk dan buat aku keliru bahawa antara kita, Aku yang punca.  Benci. Dengan rasa ini. 
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TAHUN 2021

     Bismillahirrahmanirrahim, It’s been a long time since I stop writing. There’s a lot of things happened for this past few years. I don’t know and how to start. Hopefully by this post, I will start to write again.  19 January 2021: Ayahanda saya Almarhum Zainal bin Bujang telah kembali ke rahmatullah. Pemergian ayah sangat memberi kesan kepada aku. Terlalu banyak hal, persoalan dan rasa yang aku simpan. Tapi aku yakin, ayah at the better place now. It’s break my heart so much bila tengok ayah dalam keadaan sakit. It’s been for 1 year and few months since ayah sakit. I still remember masa kami satu keluarga pergi menunaikan umrah, ayah dah start sakit, pening kepala, tak boleh nak jalan. Selalu rasa pening dan pitam bila nak jalan. After balik dari umrah, along bawa ayah check up and at the end, doctor diagnosed ayah ada ketumbuhan. Masa tu dalam bulan 7-8 tahun 2019. Pada masa yang sama, Along dapat tahu yang Along mengandung. 2019 - 2020 is the worse year for me honestly. 2020 : A
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The things I should not.

Assalamualamualaikum. Time showing me it's 1.54 a.m now, and I'm still wake up. Thinking about something I shouldn't. Late night tought always killing me slowly, by the way how I'm thinking and react towards something that happened in my life. Sometimes I feel I love to be alone, but then I'm crying because I've no one to share my problem with, except Him, and sometimes I feel I've to keep silence while myself keep screaming from the inside to be heard. I'm not sure what actually I want, and need. I said I pretend that I'm happy, but sometimes actually I'm really do happy. It just, sometime I'm also laugh while I'm in hurts. People think I'm crazy, but I think they're crazy enough to keep myself be what
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Alhamdulillah, MAYBANK PROTEGE

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim, Alhamdulillah. Syukur pada Allah dengan segala nikmat yang Allah pinjamkan. Lama tunggu untuk dapat panggilan kerja ni, even though this offer is just as a Protege. InshaAllah I'll do my best to learn something. Banyak hal untuk diceritakan, cuma masa tidak begitu mengizinkan. Sebab esok, 20th May 2019. Aku akan mula register untuk training di Maybank Academy. I hope that everything went well walaupun sejujurnya sedikit takut sebab dah lama dalam comfort zone untuk tak berhadapan dengan orang baru, tidur sendiri. Selepas duduk rumah sewa, aku cuma banyak habiskan masa dengan Adele. Maybe sekarang aku dah perlu belajar untuk mandiri. Iyalah, dilla yang dulu kuat untuk berdiri sendiri. Tak takut untuk buat kerja sendiri, bergerak sendiri, semuanya sendiri, tanpa perlu beritahu dan ambil tahu setiap masa tentang orang lain pada setiap masa, sehingga lupa keinginan diri. Banyak hal yang aku belajar dari awal tahun 2019 ini, banyak juga cerita yang ingin aku
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