Kenapa begitu banyak aku ungkit tentang masa lalu. Meski aku lebih menghargai masa kini? Mungkin yang aku hargai adalah orang yang hadir dan masih ada ada pada hari ini, Tetapi tidak diri sendiri, Kerana diri aku hari ini tidak ada banyak hal yang aku mampu banggakan. Cuma satu hal yang aku tahu, dan selalu bersyukur. Aku semakin pulih, dari luka yang aku cipta sendiri.
Salam Alayk, Feels like it’s been a long time since I did not write or post anything in my blog last year. This year, I will be actively posting and updating my life here, all the progress, or my monolog, anything that I want to keep or share, I will try to post it here. It might not be for everyone to read it, but for those who read my blog, thank you! I hope you gais will always being blessed. Just for your information, I was writing this post while I am crying at 3.06am on 7th of January. I feel hurts, but I don’t know how to describe. What makes me more sad is, to think that it just a beginning of my new year, but why all this happened. To be honest, by the time I have tried to stop on asking why all this and that keep happening to me, is it hard to just respect my feelings and show me some concern. It hurts, but even the words can’t describe why and it’s harder to explain and even harder to ask someone who we trust to understand us. Sometimes, it’s better to keep ...
I'm scared you’re going to leave because that’s what I knows, that’s what’s familiar. That’s what has happened to me in the past. Love and leave. I've been a part of that before. I'm scared you’re going to leave because occasionally my insecurities get the best of me. My insecurities tell me to act in ways I never would, they whisper things I thinks are true, they win the space in my head where happiness once grew and they take it over. My insecurities are the ones telling me I'm not enough, that you will leave me for someone else eventually, someone who’s better for you, someone who’s better than me. I'm scared you’re going to leave because any time something in me life seems to be going right, it suddenly goes wrong. What goes up must come down, and when things go up for me they come back down lower than where we started. I'm scared you’re going to leave because I'm terrified of the way I’ll feel if you do. I knows it won’t be pretty. I knows ...
Comments
Post a Comment